May 2013
screwsociety:
you know girls can tell when you look at their boobs
i don’t care how quickly you glance, 1 second is like 5 seconds in boob time
drunktrophywife:
Amanda Bynes wasn’t allowed on a flight because she didn’t have proper id because the id she tried to use was “im Amanda Bynes google me”
yellfang:
party-at-the-tardis:
shavingryansprivates:
why the fuck is every nursery rhyme about people dying
the london bridge is falling down and probably crushing pedestrians
ring around the rosie pockets full of posie ashes ashes we all get obliterated by the black plague
it’s raining it’s pouring the old man is snoring he bumped his head and fucking died
and fucking died
humpty...
khajiduh:
if i were famous, i’d go to a red carpet event in a fashionable tan leather dress, and when they asked me who i was wearing, i’d say ‘i don’t know her name, but she had a beautiful complexion, didn’t she?’
at least i run faster than internet explorer
“I don’t love studying. I hate studying. I like learning. Learning is beautiful.”
– Natalie Portman (via dulcetive)
maxterbate:
is it spelled doughnuts or donuts what the heck
*accidentally opens undesired program* *heart races as i try to force quit before it can fully open*
skate-high:
To me, songs are kind of like bookmarks. Have you ever listened to a song that you haven’t heard in a while, and all of a sudden, all the memories of that time period come back, and you remember what your life used to be like. They’re like milestones in your life.
egberts:
of all the dumb stuff i did when i was younger at least i can proudly say i was never a fan of annoying orange
dysenterygay:
i asked my italian grandfather if the rough parts of italy were called the spaghetto and look at me w/ so much shame
urksies:
cosmopanther:
I think the real question is why should a girl shave, preen and diet herself into oblivion for a guy in sweatpants and a t shirt who hasn’t trimmed his pubes in 3 years
PREACH
meoplelikepeople:
acrackinthetardis:
nickgrimshade:
do you ever remember that harry is only 18 years old and he’s been accused of sleeping with 410 women and breaking up 3 marriages and he can’t even get a tattoo without being surrounded by thousands of girls and he has no privacy and never actually gets to just be an 18 year old kid
For a minute I thought you were talking about Harry...
Tumblr: I am a strong and independent blue website who don't need no Yahoo
randomstuff134:
sodamnrelatable:
take a moment to realize you have never seen your face in person, just reflections and pictures
some scientists agree that if you saw a clone of yourself, you wouldn’t recognise it as you, because our idea of what we look like is so different from what we actually look like
whiskey-memories:
bras are so expensive like i didn’t choose the boob life the boob life chose me
the-nicest-asshole:
UK grading system 75-100 A+ 70-74 A 64-69 A- 60-63 B+ 55-59 B 50-54 B- 46-49 C+ 43-45 C 38-42 C- 35-37 D 0-34
Time to move to the UK
Everyone: If you keep listening to your music so loudly you'll be deaf by the time you're 20
Me: What
jesuschristvevo:
i may look like im listening to music but really i have my volume on zero and im listening to everyones conversations because im a true spy kid
moretoremember:
I would never cheat in a relationship
because that would require two people finding me attractive.
*runs for 10 minutes*
me: am i skinny yet?
i HATE when i walk into class late and everyone just turns and stares at me like i killed two people when i obviously killed seven
deadpoolist:
i have such good taste, i whisper to myself as i browse my own blog
Me every time I eat: this is why I'm fat
thanks to tumblr i’m seriously up on the latest news ten times faster than anyone else around me it makes me feel so fancy
solluxforpresident:
